Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
