I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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