today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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