she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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