i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
