I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
