She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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