once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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