Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
