Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
