im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
