also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize