no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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