We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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