you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
