I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
