I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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