i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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