when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
