its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
