I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
