whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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