btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
