So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
