My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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