2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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