I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
