His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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