You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize