so that wasnt chicken after all
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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