only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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