I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm bleeding and have questions
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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