Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He better not be in your backpack
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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