theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
