fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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