She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
