wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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