No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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