i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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