Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
