just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
