But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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