You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
