How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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