is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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