Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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