Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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