According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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