I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize