We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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