i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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