Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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