He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
