I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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