I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
